Mother’s Day Is Eight Days Out. Here’s Your Plan.
For the leader who is still carrying loss into Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is coming. But I am sure I didn’t need to remind you of that.
For those of us grieving, it rarely arrives quietly. It builds. You feel it in the days before the day. The weight of the calendar. The reminders. The silence in places where there used to be a phone call.
If you are still leading while you are grieving, this week asks something significant of you. It asks you to hold your own loss and keep showing up for everyone else at the same time. Here is how I think about moving through it.
Before the day.
Take a few minutes this week to acknowledge what is actually true for you right now. Not what you think you should feel. What you actually feel. Name it honestly. The grief. The exhaustion. The complicated mix of memory and missing.
Be thoughtful about what you expose yourself to in the days leading up to Sunday. Some spaces will feel fine. Others will feel like too much. Don’t underestimate seeing signs at the store about Mother’s Day or reminders in your email. You are allowed to step back from things that aren’t serving you, without explanation and without guilt.
Reduce the noise where you can. Protect your energy before you need it.
During the day.
There is no right way to move through this day.
For me, my plan this year is simple. I’m giving myself space. I’m keeping the day open so I can do something if I want to, or rest if that’s what I need. That kind of optionality has been what works best for me.
You may show up fully. You may pull back. You may do something small and quiet and call it enough. All of it counts.
Choose one intentional act. Not a performance. Not a production. Just one thing that honors her in a way that feels like you.
A letter. A rememberance walk. A quiet hour. A donation in her name. Time with someone who loved her too. The goal is not to fill the day. The goal is to move through it with purpose instead of just pressure.
And if it gets hard, remember: it is only 24 hours. You can move through it however you need to.
After the day.
The day after can be its own kind of quiet.
The buildup fades. The world moves on. But you may still feel it, and that is normal. Give yourself permission to re-enter slowly. Rest your nervous system. Don’t rush back to full capacity just because the date has passed.
You carried something real this week. That deserves more than a quick reset.
However this day meets you, I hope you move through it with a little more intention and a little less pressure. You don’t have to carry it all at once.
If someone in your life is a grieving leader and this coming weekend is going to be hard for them, forward this their way. You don’t have to say much. Just send it. Sometimes that is enough.
And if this is your first time here, this is what The Mourning Manager is built for. Practical support for leaders who are still responsible for others, even in the hardest seasons. No imposed timelines. No performance required.
Thinking of you all and appreciate the community we are building.
With Love ,
Carolyn’s Daughter🖤