I Did Not Send Christmas Cards. Gasp. And Other Traditions I Am Loosening

For leaders learning to honor their capacity during the holidays. ✨

I did something this year that my southern upbringing would never have expected from me.

I did not send Christmas cards. Gasp.

The southern belle in me, raised and shaped by a lineage of maternal and paternal women who carried grace and class with ease, knows better. These are women who taught me that holiday cards are not optional. They are tradition. They are connection. They are part of who we are. 🎄✨

And yet here we are. It is the seventeenth, and while I technically still have time, the truth is that before losing my mom, those cards would have been planned, addressed, and mailed well before now. I would have executed them with the same precision I bring to my work life.

And you know what. I am totally ok with it (at least this year!).

There are parts of the holidays I will always hold close. But one thing about loss, especially the loss of someone so foundational to your sense of tradition, is that it shifts what you do and how you do it. As I wrote in last week’s newsletter, it is not the same. But that does not mean abandoning everything. It means evolving. It means allowing traditions to change in small ways and sometimes in big ones. It means understanding that you do not have to land the new version all at once.

We tend to think about evolving traditions in terms of major gatherings and the who, what, and where of the season. But these shifts apply to the small things too. The cards. The lights I meant to hang but never arranged. The second tree I thought I would put up but did not. The holiday plans that look a little different than years before.

This year the moments that steadied me were the ones that felt quietly sacred. A verse that surfaced at the right moment. A song that reminded me to hope. A prayer whispered at the end of a long day. The way light settled across my living room in the morning. None of these were traditions in the formal sense, but they carried me in ways I did not expect. They reminded me that grace still meets us, even when everything else feels different. 🕯️✨

And if you are moving through this season while leading others, I hope you remember this. The standards you carry at work do not have to follow you home. You can show up with clarity for your team and still choose gentler expectations for yourself. You can offer guidance to others and still need rest. You can bring excellence to your leadership and allow your personal world to feel looser, quieter, and less defined than it once was.

The holidays will continue to reshape themselves around who we are becoming. And we get to reshape our traditions along the way.

So if your cards are not out. If the second tree did not make it up. If you shifted dinner plans or changed travel or decided to do a little less this year, you are in good company. Sometimes the most faithful act of the season is honoring the version of yourself who is here right now.

I will share more next week about navigating the places where these softened traditions intersect with the people who are missing. For many of us, that is where the season becomes the most tender.

But for today, let this be enough. And let it be just enough for where you are.

🖤Carolyn’s daughter