Your Words Need A Place To Land. A Saturday Reflection

🖤 For the conversation you still want (and need) to have

Sometimes when you are navigating loss, you need somewhere for the words to land. For me, that place has often been a letter I write to my mom.

I am a big believer in journaling, and as a person of faith, prayer has long been part of how I process life. But since my mom passed, there is another practice I return to in moments when I want to share something with her or when I simply need to feel a sense of connection.

I have a folder on my laptop called Letters to Mom. I started the folder a few months after she passed in 2024.

I do not write every day. There are gaps of months at a time. But there are certain days I find myself opening it. A few holidays. Christmas. My birthday.

I open a document and type. Sometimes it is only a few sentences. Sometimes it is longer. I always begin the same way.

Dear Mom.

As my mom’s birthday approaches next week, and the month that follows carries the date of her passing, I find myself opening the laptop a bit more often. (I hesitate to even call it an anniversary. It is not something I want to celebrate.) But the dates still hold weight, and the words need somewhere to land.

What has surprised me is that this folder has also become a place where I can see my thinking and my grief over time. I am still early in this journey, but when I look back, I can see that I have come a bit farther than I sometimes realize.

I shared this practice with a work colleague several months ago. He had experienced a significant loss more than a decade earlier and said quietly, “I do not think I ever really processed it.” He tried writing, unsure of what it might unlock in his heart. It brought up feelings that were fresh, but it also offered something healing. Not because it fixed anything, but because the words finally had a place to go. His dynamic was complicated with his loved one, but writing still helped unlock what had been inside.

No matter who you have lost, or how long it has been, sometimes what we need most is a private place to speak to the one we miss. It does not have to be a laptop. It could be a notebook. A notes app. A voice memo. There is no schedule. No requirement to do it often.

If you are like me, there are moments when the words can only be spoken to the person who is no longer here. And mine range from life updates, sharing feelings and everything in between. Just like I would if she was here.

Whether you realize it or not, if you think about it…you probably have some thoughts that need a private place to land too. To support you taking that step, I have recorded a short bonus audio available here, titled Quick tips to give your words a place to land.

If you have practices that help you in moments like these, or if this is something you might try, I would love to hear how it goes. Just drop a comment or reply to this email.

Since my mom’s birthday is next week, I’m marking it by introducing a few new ways to support you, rooted in the care she showed and the lessons this season continues to teach me. Stay tuned to your inboxes.

Friends, I hope you find a place for your words to land no matter how short or long it’s been. 🖤

Take care,
Carolyn’s daughter

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